December 7

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 199,913
• Today’s word count: 24
• Thoughts: I wrote exactly one more word than yesterday. It’s progress. It just isn’t much progress. I’m still struggling to get back into the right mindset for writing. If I didn’t feel like writing, I wouldn’t be trying yet, but I’m itching to get back to telling this story. The problem is focusing once I sit down to write. My mind just wanders. I’m probably not as ready to get back to writing as I want to be. I just need to be patient with myself.
• Tomorrow’s goal: Will tomorrow be the day I’m able to keep my attention on writing? I won’t know until I try and I intend to keep trying. It will happen and I’m not going to miss it when it does.

December 8

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 199,945
• Today’s word count: 32
• Thoughts: Today’s word count is slightly better than yesterday’s but this snail’s pace climb back into writing is driving me up the wall. I want to write. I’m just fighting through a lot of distracting thoughts that have my mind wandering constantly. Eventually I will get past this. I just hate waiting.
• Tomorrow’s goal: Let’s get back on track! Maybe it will happen. Maybe it won’t. I don’t know if I will make it work, but I’m going to try. I’m going to be there with my hands on the keyboard when everything clicks back into place.

December 9

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 199,950
• Today’s word count: 5
• Thoughts: I really thought I wasn’t going to write at all today. My brain just wouldn’t switch on. I could go through ordinary day to day things just fine, but sitting down and trying to create something from my own mind just wouldn’t happen. It was frustrating but I’m still trying to be kind to myself. I’ll write again eventually.
• Tomorrow’s goal: I really hope I can have a quiet day at home that will finally let me write again. I miss it. I miss being able to sit quietly with my thoughts and not have my own mind betray me by going blank or meandering down some mental corridor to a place a didn’t want to go. I know I’m tired and I have a lot of grief left to process but I can’t help feeling impatient.

December 10

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 199,982
• Today’s word count: 32
• Thoughts: I feel like I’m still in the same place mentally. The desire to write is there. I (usually) have time to set aside and focus on writing. When the time comes, my mind just gets caught somewhere between freezing and wandering off. Can it be both at once? I’m sure the solution is to give myself time to get back to normal, but I want to be able to do something to get there. I’m not good at just waiting.
• Tomorrow’s goal: I really, really don’t know what to expect. It’s my birthday. Obviously I’m not having people over for a party or going out. I still have errands to run like every Friday. Will I finally be able to write? I don’t know.

December 11 & 12

Oh boy. I ended up taking a break for my birthday. Then I took an extra day. I was still feeling pretty empty. As much as I want to write, I am still creatively running on fumes. Getting that creative energy back is a long, slow battle. So much of the space is currently occupied by a flurry of other emotions. Even under the best of circumstances, it would take a while to win back that space in my mind, but this is 2020 so more stress just gets piled on me and I feel like I’m shoveling it back out as fast as I can and just falling further behind.

I genuinely need a vacation from reality.

December 13

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 200,024
• Today’s word count: 42
• Thoughts: Well, I remember when I was confident I would be able to cut this draft down to 200k without any problem. I’m still so far from the end of this rewrite. It’s going to be longer than the last draft. It’s might end up a lot longer, actually. Do I think that’s a bad thing? Not at all. I’m expanding certain parts of the story I realized I had neglected before. There might be other things that can be trimmed down later, but this is a big story. Maybe reaching this milestone will help me get my creative energy and motivation back?
• Tomorrow’s goal: It’s looks like we’re getting rain/snow around here. It’ll be the perfect excuse to stay inside and write. Hopefully it will be the push I need to get back into writing seriously.

---

Enjoy my content? Want to be one of the first to see the new version of The Dreams? Pledge $1 on Patreon to gain early access to my work, bonus content and our Discord server!

Help others find my work! Vote for The Dreams and Inbetween on Top Web Fiction to help my serials climb the ranks and reach more readers. Voting is free and there’s no log in required.