January 4

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 200,821
• Today’s word count: 20
• Thoughts: I’m still in a funk. I don’t know how to get out of it. I just keep sitting down and attempting to write with little or no results. I think I need a change of pace. Maybe I should try writing something by hand. The idea of changing things up right now is exhausting before I even try.
• Tomorrow’s goal: More writing attempts. I’m not giving up. I want to write and I’m going to figure out a way to get past this anxiety/stress/low self-esteem mental block and make it happen.

January 5

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 200,851
• Today’s word count: 30
• Thoughts: I’m still not feeling like myself when it comes to writing. However, I can feel myself getting closer. I picked up a game I hadn’t played in a while today and reentering that world gave me a huge creative boost. I have ideas. I feel inspired. All I need to do is get myself back on my feet and I should be writing up a storm in no time. At least, that’s what I hope will happen. As long as no more disasters pop up to derail me, I can do this.
• Tomorrow’s goal: Writing! I’ve been wanting to write for a while now but now that I’m feeling truly inspired again, I don’t know how I could be stopped. If anything tries to stop me, I need to run far, far away from it and protect this writing mojo.

January 6

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 200,890
• Today’s word count: 39
• Thoughts: My best plans couldn’t stand up against the mess of today. I tried to avoid doomscrolling and failed. Badly. I attempted to write, but my mind was so distracted and I couldn’t stick to anything for long.
• Tomorrow’s goal: Is it too much to hope for a peaceful day full of writing? It might be. 2021 is already off to a rough start.

January 7

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 200,913
• Today’s word count: 23
• Thoughts: Oh boy. I feel like I spent most of my writing time today staring at a sentence I just wrote and then deleting it to rewrite it. If I was working on a first draft, I know I would have left it alone and moved on, but this is a third draft and I can’t justify leaving something I’m genuinely unhappy with in the draft to be dealt with later.
• Tomorrow’s goal: Considering I put more time and energy into my writing than other days lately, I’m feeling pretty optimistic about my ability to get back to work, even if it will be another chaotic, errand full Friday. I’ll see what I can do.

January 8

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 200,974
• Today’s word count: 61
• Thoughts: I can’t believe I managed to write more than any other day lately on a Friday. I was busy. I was distracted. Somehow I still sat down and wrote more than two sentences. It’s not much, but I’m going to celebrate any sort of improvement.
• Tomorrow’s goal: I really, really hope I can write even more. After the past 6 weeks or so I know better than to hope for too much, but I want to keep pushing myself to do better and be better every single day.

January 9

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 200,991
• Today’s word count: 17
• Thoughts: I couldn’t get into a writing rhythm today. It really bothered me. I thought I was getting back to normal, but now I think it was too soon to celebrate. I guess I’m just a little disappointed.
• Tomorrow’s goal: Hopefully I can get back to writing. I’m trying to be optimistic. Eventually that optimism will pay off. It should be a very quiet Sunday so I have a good chance of making it work out for me.

January 10

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 200,997
• Today’s word count: 6
• Thoughts: This was an awful day for writing. I complained a bit about it on Twitter and someone pointed out to me that this week has been horrible and it is perfectly understandable why someone would have trouble righting at the moment. I feel like every week lately has had something happen that makes it harder to be creative. I’ve thought about disappearing from the internet for a month before and it is seeming more and more tempting, but I also think my anxiety would demand to be plugged in after a day or two because I know the world is a mess.
• Tomorrow’s goal: I just want to write. If I write two words, I’ll be happy. As long as I don’t stop, I can keep hoping that tomorrow will be the day that everything starts working again.

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