July 19

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 216,678
• Today’s word count: 16
• Thoughts: Today was just a bad day overall. I didn’t feel great. It was hard to want to do much of anything. I feel like all I had the energy to do was the bare essentials.
• Tomorrow’s goal: I want to get back to writing. I don’t know if I’ll be there tomorrow, but I will get there eventually.

July 20

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 216,768
• Today’s word count: 90
• Thoughts: I thought yesterday was a bad day but today turned out worse. My anxiety was through the roof. For a while I had to shut everything down and be completely by myself which isn’t like me at all. Even if I want to be by myself for a while I usually at least listen to music. Focusing on writing was a good distraction for a little while. But my confidence was thoroughly shattered so I kept second guessing the words I had written.
• Tomorrow’s goal: Sleep! Feel better! It’s a simple formula but I’m hoping it will work. New days can lead to new perspectives and that’s what I need right now.

July 21

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 216,799
• Today’s word count: 31
• Thoughts: I felt better after sleeping but I didn’t feel like writing. That’s a problem. Usually I want to write and I can’t get out of my own way to do it. Today the drive just wasn’t there. I’m sure it’s fine. It’ll come back. It’s just a little frustrating to finally feel capable of writing only to lose the will to do it. Hopefully I just needed a short break.
• Tomorrow’s goal: Hopefully I’ll feel like writing tomorrow. As long as I don’t get another migraine I should be able to get some words out.

July 22

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 216,802
• Today’s word count: 3
• Thoughts: My mind refused to focus on writing. I had plenty of focus but I lacked the power to direct it where I wanted. Some absolutely useless tasks were accomplished today. I wish I could say I had fun. Most of the time I was trying and failing to shift my focus. It was frustrating.
• Tomorrow’s goal: I wonder if I can actually have a better Friday than the rest of this week so far. It wouldn’t be hard but after today I’m not sure if anything about writing is easy.

July 23

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 216,811
• Today’s word count: 9
• Thoughts: I was worried today would end up being like this. I just didn’t have it in me to write. I had time. I wasn’t particularly distracted. Errands just drained me and I didn’t have anything to put toward being creative or even the revising side of a 3rd draft. Hopefully taking a bit of a break will help me bounce back sooner.
• Tomorrow’s goal: I’m hoping I will be able to write again. I don’t know what to expect. I might recover and find my motivation again or I might be stuck trying to claw my way back to words flowing easily for a few more days. Finding out how it will be is half the fun, I suppose.

July 24

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 216,835
• Today’s word count: 24
• Thoughts: It’s sad that this small word count is an improvement, but here we are. I’m hoping I can claw my way back to being productive soon. I at least took a long walk through some really nice woods today!
• Tomorrow’s goal: I want to write more! I keep saying that. Eventually it’s going to work and I’ll have an amazing day of writing.

July 25

• Project: The Dreams
• Total word count: 216,853
• Today’s word count: 18
• Thoughts: I allowed myself to be very, very distracted today. Maybe it was a mistake. I played The Sims for the first time in forever. I’m not entirely sure it was a mistake because The Sims is usually pretty good at jump starting my creativity. It just wasn’t good for my writing today because I had to jump through a lot of hoops to get my old sims games working on this computer. Next time I shouldn’t have that distraction.
• Tomorrow’s goal: I need to write more. I might play with my sims some more too. I’m feeling pretty hopeful about the new week overall.

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